Okay so I started a Google search on reinventing yourself right because I need a change so I can be super creative again with no problems on that.
Well. I've got to say sometimes I hate searching the Web. Maybe it's just me, but every time put something in Google I get pages of websites SELLING books about reinventing yourself, which I'm like No, I need articles.
But the worst part is that they're always like, "Buy this now and it's guaranteed to help! What are you waiting for?" And it has that NASTY yellow background with terrible red highlighted words.
And for some reason I scroll down in vain hope that perhaps there's a link to a good article but there never is.
It never USED to really bother me until I was trying to figure out why my Xbox 360 got the red ring of death-made me so mad! I wanted to try playing Batman Arkham Asylum, finish up Bioshock, and get farther with Lost Odyssey during my break but can't do that now!-and I found this cool article where it said you can fix it yourself.
Now I'm not a techie junkie but if saves me cash and there's instructions it may take me like 6hours to get something fixed, I'll get it fixed! I was all hopeful and then BOOM! I saw the nasty yellow paper background and the nauseating red highlighted words and was like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
OH! And another thing! Why's everything about reinventing yourself always spiraling around 'job loss'. Like everywhere I go it's like 'reinventing yourself after jobless' 'how to reinvent yourself to make more cash' blah blah blah and it's making me so angry! But it's like anger and shame at the same time. The biggest part of it is that I hate that everything I find is about "jobs" ie how to get ahead, how to deal with coworkers, what not to wear to an office party etc. And it all just reminds me of corporate world and I was in that world and I wanted to cry everyday from it. Because that's why I'm going to art school-so I don't have to be in corperate world and yet my part time job took me there because it was easy and stable and made good money...
in exchange for my soul!
But people were like, you've got a good thing going, you've got a job be grateful etc etc. But to me, despite all of that I quit. I just up'd and left. I know that I'm very lucky to be able to. I've got a super supportive boyfriend who understands that I'm not so strong that I can struggle to work a job that I absolutely despised, go to college for art school where everything I hope to be is constantly put to the test (and where I seem to be failing that test) and still be happy at the end of the day.
I wish I could be that strong. I'm envious of those who are that strong.
You know that saying, "leap and a net will appear?" I was never much on faith-never have been. But I've been trying; I devour books from Osho, Lao Tzu, Deng Ming Dao, Thich Nhat Hanh, The Dalai Lama, etc in search of affirmation that I'm doing something right. That I'm not some kind of completely selfish and spoiled person who just rides on the coat tails of others. Well for me I feel like this is all a test and I HATE tests.
But it's like someone is saying, "How much are you willing to give up to get what you need?"
Pshaw, and I always thought answering that would be easy.
But I know I got a gift right now and I can't waste it. I need to work harder than ever because I have no excuse now. No excuse. And I never wanted excuses in the first place.
That's why when I'm looking on how to improves myself the last thing i want to see is ads to buy THE BOOK!
OH! And another thing! Why's everything about reinventing yourself always spiraling around 'job loss'. Like everywhere I go it's like 'reinventing yourself after jobless' 'how to reinvent yourself to make more cash' blah blah blah and it's making me so angry! But it's like anger and shame at the same time. The biggest part of it is that I hate that everything I find is about "jobs" ie how to get ahead, how to deal with coworkers, what not to wear to an office party etc. And it all just reminds me of corporate world and I was in that world and I wanted to cry everyday from it. Because that's why I'm going to art school-so I don't have to be in corperate world and yet my part time job took me there because it was easy and stable and made good money...
in exchange for my soul!
But people were like, you've got a good thing going, you've got a job be grateful etc etc. But to me, despite all of that I quit. I just up'd and left. I know that I'm very lucky to be able to. I've got a super supportive boyfriend who understands that I'm not so strong that I can struggle to work a job that I absolutely despised, go to college for art school where everything I hope to be is constantly put to the test (and where I seem to be failing that test) and still be happy at the end of the day.
I wish I could be that strong. I'm envious of those who are that strong.
You know that saying, "leap and a net will appear?" I was never much on faith-never have been. But I've been trying; I devour books from Osho, Lao Tzu, Deng Ming Dao, Thich Nhat Hanh, The Dalai Lama, etc in search of affirmation that I'm doing something right. That I'm not some kind of completely selfish and spoiled person who just rides on the coat tails of others. Well for me I feel like this is all a test and I HATE tests.
But it's like someone is saying, "How much are you willing to give up to get what you need?"
Pshaw, and I always thought answering that would be easy.
But I know I got a gift right now and I can't waste it. I need to work harder than ever because I have no excuse now. No excuse. And I never wanted excuses in the first place.
That's why when I'm looking on how to improves myself the last thing i want to see is ads to buy THE BOOK!
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